My First Thing Thing: Baked Pear and Cranberry Oatmeal "Cake" with Almond Butter "Frosting"

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Like a good chunk of shit...poor choice of words.  Like a good amount of creations, my first recipe was put together while drunk.  Wouldn't change a goddamn thing about it.





·        ¾ C Old-Fashioned Oats

·        ¼ t Salt

·        1 t Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

·        ½ t Cinnamon (Ground)

·        ¼ t Ginger (Ground)

·        Pinch Clove (Ground)

·        Pinch Cardamom (Ground)

·        1 – 2 t Ginger (Fresh)

·        1 Medium Pear

·        ½ C Cranberries (Fresh)

·        2 T Apple Cider

·        Juice of 1 Lemon

·        2 t honey

·        3 – 4 T Almond Beverage*

·        2 t Almond Butter

·        2-3 T Greek Yogurt

Toppings and Add-Ins:

·        1 T Raw or Toasted Almonds

·        Dates or Raisins


·        Set oven to “Bake” and preheat to 375◦F.

·        Dice Pear into small dice.

·        In a pan, over medium heat, throw pear, cranberries, apple cider, lemon juice, fresh ginger and 1t honey. Cook until pears and cranberries are soft and liquid has reduced into a syrup consistency.

·        While that’s cooking, mix ground spices and salt into the oats.  You can add raisins or half the toasted, chopped almonds into the mix, if you’d like.

·        Add milk, 1 T at a time, into the oats until you’ve got a thick batter.  If it’s too wet, you’ve added too much liquid.  You can always adjust to suit your personal tastes.

For the “frosting:”

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·        Whisk almond butter into the yogurt.  Mix in a bit of the almond milk and a tiny bit of cider, until you’ve got a smooth consistency, but thick.  Ya know, like frosting.


·        Once the pear/cranberry mixture is cooked, add half of it to the bottom of a GREASED ramekin.  Then add half of the oat mixture.  Top that with the rest of the pear mixture, and then finish with the remainder of the oats.

·        Bake for 10-12 minutes.

·        Make sure the cake isn’t wet when removing from the oven.

·        Let cool for 5 minutes or so.  For me that about as long as it takes me to go outside, smoke a cigarette and comeback.

·        Flip ramekin onto a small plate.  Tap the bottom of ramekin and let it slide out.

·        Top with frosting, toasted nuts, some cinnamon or whatever the shit you want.


*I used “Pacific Organic Unsweetened Almond Milk.”