Chocolate Oatmeal Cake With Mango Friggin' Salsa


You may think this is stupid and maybe you're right, but I'm certain that if you even look back at the last hour of your life, it was filled with regrettable decisions.  If you think this might be a future bad decision, just remember that it's oatmeal and you should get over it and try new things. It's awesome, by the way. 


  For Chili Powder:


·       Pinch Salt

·        ¼ t Oregano, dried

·        ¼ t Cayenne Pepper, ground

·        ¼ t Smoked Paprika

·        ½ t Cumin, ground

·        ¼ t Ginger, ground

Oats and Shit:

·        2 t Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

·        1 T Unsweetened Coconut Flakes

·        2 t Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter*

·        1 t Honey

·        2 Small Squares of Dark Chocolate Bar, chopped

·        3 – 4 T Coconut Beverage*

Mango Salsa:


·        ¼ Haas Avocado

·        ½ Ripe Mango (Small or Medium)

·        1 T Red Onion, finely diced

·        2 or 3 Grape Tomatoes, diced – Alternately, use 1-2 T other kind of tomato

·        ½ Habanero Pepper, finely chopped

·        1 Small Garlic Clove, minced

·        Juice of ½ a Lime

·        1 T Cilantro, finely chopped



·        1 T Raw or Toasted Cashews



·        Set oven to “Bake” and preheat to 375◦F.

·        Rub or spray an oven-safe ramekin, lightly, with an oil of you preference.

·        Dice, mince and chop everything for the salsa and toss it in a bowl.  Squeeze the lime into the bowl and set aside.  Stir occasionally.

·        Mix together all of the spices for the chili powder, along with the coconut flakes, dark chocolate and cocoa powder.  Incorporate this into the oats. 

·        Warm the milk, and then stir in the peanut butter.  Mix this into the oats.  If you feel the mixture is too dry, put in some more milk, 1 T at a time. 

·        Pour the mixture into the ramekin and bake for about ten minutes.  Check on it after that.  You want the cake to be moist.  I usually test it by denting it with my finger.  If it springs back a little, it’s done.


·        When finished, remove ramekin from oven and let cool for ten minutes or so.  Run a knife around the edges of the cake, then flip that sumbitch out onto a plate.

·        Top the cake with the mango salsa.

·        Eat.


*I used Peanut Butter & Co.’s “Dark Chocolate Dreams” Peanut Butter.

*I used “So Delicious Coconut Milk Beverage.”