Sweet Potato Quinoa Cakes

It's Christmas and I'm publishing this, because doing this is better than listening to someone's child explain what their piece of shit Elf On A Shelf wrote to them about their degrees of naughtiness and niceness.  

These things also taste way better than the Jingle-Bell slop you've shoved down your throats today. 


  • 1/2 C Quinoa, dry
  • 1 Medium Sweet Potato, peeled and grated
  • 2 T Buckwheat Flour
  • 2 t Peanut Butter or other Nut Butter of your choice (Cashew Butter would be great)
  • 1 t Honey
  • 1/4 C  Full Fat or Light Coconut Milk
  • 3/4 C Onion, diced
  • 1/4 C Pecans, roughly chopped
  • 1 T Chia Seeds
  • 1/4 C Dried Cherries or other dried fruit
  • 1/2 t each Salt + Pepper
  • 1/8 t Coriander, ground
  • 1/8 t Cayenne
  • 1/4 t Turmeric, ground


  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  • Cook Quinoa according to package instructions or however you like it.  Just cook the goddamn quinoa.
  • Using a box grater, grate sweet potato.
  • Dice Onion
  • Mix, in a large bowl, the Sweet Potato, Quinoa, Pecans, Dried Cherries.
  • In a separate bowl, pour Coconut Milk, Peanut Butter, Honey, Chia and Flour.  Let sit for 10 minutes, allowing Chia to absorb and expand.
  • Mix this into Veggies and Quinoa.  Stir in spices and mix thoroughly.4
  • Using a 1/4 C measuring cup, form patties with the mix.
  • Lay patties on a lined and greased sheet tray. Lightly brush cakes with oil of your choice or pan spray.
  • Cook patties in oven for 20 minutes, until the patties brown on top and around edges.
  • When finished, let cit and cool for 10 minutes, minimum.